Every couple has conflict. In fact, if you do not experience any form of overt conflict with your partner or spouse, you might be at the early stage of your relationship or you might be avoiding it. Contrary to popular belief, conflict can be a normal and healthy part of any romantic relationship, as long as it is handled fairly. See our blog on fighting fair.
Conflict can test the strength of your relationship and help you understand your partner more intimately. It can even help you develop a stronger bond together. Oftentimes, to be without conflict is to be without love.
What should you bring up with your spouse or partner? Believe it or not, some things should not be brought up in a relationship. Some issues, on the other hand, cannot be ignored. Here are some recommendations on how to handle conflict with someone important in your life, and what to talk about:
Some conflict, on the other hand, is what we call destructive. This type of conflict can hurt either person in the relationship. Here is an article all about destructive conflict, the warning signs and why we stay in destructive relationships. Be sure to seek the assistance of a counselor or other health professional if you feel like you are in a destructive relationship with your partner or spouse.
Before following the Mediate to Go process, ask yourself, what does your partner mean to you? What do you love about your partner? What is going well? Try to go into the conflict with a balanced perspective, taking into account positive things in the relationship, in addition to the negative. Remember, your partner might not realize that he/she has done something wrong. If you have made the mistake (if any), be sure to be open to hear what your partner needs to say. Read this article on active listening:
When you talk to your partner about the issue, you should bring up positive aspects of the relationship first and then share your concerns. If you bring up issues in a respectful way and focus on the problem, not the person, there is no reason for your partner to ignore you.
Use Mediate to Go to resolve the issues in your relationship, so that you can focus on what is important.